NOT ENOUGH

What do I have to do?

Because I’ve tried so hard 

and it’s not enough

I’m so confused

I just want you to love me

I want you to want me

by your side

I want you to tell me

all your secrets

I want you to know

you don’t have to hide

We could be so close

like chocolate and peanut butter

except you don’t like chocolate

and I don’t like peanut butter

and neither of us like me

But I really like you

I don’t do low

apparently

except I am low

because of you

My self-esteem

my faith in myself

my capacity 

to shield my heart

I’ve cried actual tears 

over you

You should feel privileged

because that

I can assure you

is a rare event

I didn’t even cry over him

Not a second time anyway

So you’ve had your first chance

but I know you could make me cry

again

Which means for my own health

I need to stop

I hear the disdain

when you talk about me

I see the way you can’t

stand the sight of me

I get that you don’t want me around

I don’t know how to deal with it

but I guess I have to

Because I’m on another road

that leads to nowhere

But I’ve learned that lesson

and it hurts but

I’m willing to step off the path